This list of resources intends to provide help for schools and parents struggling to cope with the tragic events of the Sept. 11 attacks.
The Boston College School of Education has put together a web site with links to resources with information to help children cope with the tragedy. http://www.bc.edu/bc_org/avp/soe/copingresources.html
The National Education Association has provided pertinent resources in their "Crisis Communications Guide and Toolkit." Contents include:
The National Association of School Psychologists has posted a list of resources relating to how children experience disasters and crises and what parents and school personnel can do to help. Among other materials, read:
"Helping Your Child Deal With a Terrorist Tragedy," from KidsHealth, advises parents to maintain normal family routines even in the face of tragedy. "Anxiety is 'contagious,'" says KidsHealth. "It will be helpful for your child to see that your world, and theirs, are not in chaos."
"Any time that a child is motivated enough to ask a question, it is an opportunity for us to take advantage of a teachable moment," says James Madison University's Dr. Lennis G. Echterling in "How to Talk to Children About the Threat of Biological Warfare or Terrorist Attack," posted by the Federal Emergency Management Agency. Also from FEMA, How to Help Children After a Disaster: A Guidebook for Teachers (requires Adobe's Acrobat Reader).
"Coping With Trauma," from AboutOurKids.org, reprinted from the November 1999 issue of Child Magazine.
From Sesame Street Parents and the CTW Family Workshop, "Tragic Times, Healing Words," a special on helping children cope with disaster.
"A Practical Guide for Crisis Response in Our Schools, Fourth Edition," from The American Academy of Experts in Traumatic Stress, establishes guidelines for parents and teachers for crisis response. Included in the edition are "Responding to a Crisis Situation," "Age- Appropriate Reactions and Intervention Strategies," and "Practical Information Concerning Grief Counseling." (Requires Adobe's Acrobat Reader).
"To Be Involved or Not: Crisis Intervention in Schools," from Westwind Publications, Feb. 11, 1999. The author suggests that "crisis intervention and follow-up in the schools can be the first line of defense for addressing some of the most distressing and problematic issues that currently face our young people."
"School Crisis Response: Expecting the Unexpected," Educational Leadership, November 1994, suggests that a coordinated districtwide crisis response requires careful planning.
Crisis Intervention Resource Manual, from the Bartow County (Ga.) School System, provides quick summaries on a "Child's View of Death," "Key Factors Which Influence a Child's Response to Death," and "Helping Kids Cope With Grief." Also provided is a list of links to materials on "Disasters and Coping."David Baldwin, a psychologist in private practice, maintains a Web site on trauma, with an extensive list of links to trauma- related sites.
"Talking to Children About Violence and Other Sensitive and Complex Issues in the World," adapted by Linda Lantieri from A Discussion Guide for Parents and Educators by Susan Jones and Sheldon Berman. This guide explores some of the questions that parents and teachers frequently ask about ways to discuss such tragedies as the recent attacks.
Talking With Kids About Tough Issues, a national campaign from Children Now and the Kaiser Family Foundation, encourages parents to talk to kids about the news, and specifically about the media and disasters.
A tragedy such as the events of yesterday is a frightening experience for children and parents alike. One factor in your child’s perception of this event will be your response. Children are very aware of their parents’ worries most of the time, but they are particularly sensitive during the time of a disaster. Realistically, you will not be able to keep your child shielded from all news of the events or your upset.
In general, in a situation of difficulty or tragedy, you want to acknowledge your feelings and the situation in simple language that your child will understand.
For the very youngest child, you may even simply say, "We are sad because some people died and that makes all the grownups sad." Depending on the child’s level of awareness, you may want to choose language like one of the samples on the flip side of this page.
Children will almost always need to be reassured that they and their loved ones are safe. It is all right to use blanket statements like "our house is extra strong" or "Mommy knows how to keep you safe" to comfort your child.
Obviously, it is best for children not to have over-exposure to media coverage or unedited adult conversation. At a time like this, however, complete separation from media or adult conversation may be impossible.
Be aware that even if young children can understand cognitively what happened, they will not process emotionally in the same way that you do. Their basic need will be for reassurance that the world as they know it is still intact.
The event (or what they hear of it) may capture their imagination. Fears and disasters are everyday events in the imaginative life of young children. This event may blur with their play and fantasy life, and they may use it as a symbol for some of the universal fears, questions or concerns they already have. Some children may have lots of questions about it. Other children may play "falling buildings" or "repair" type of play where children symbolically make things right again. Symbolic play is one of the best healing tools available to young children.
It is typical when young children have been exposed to difficult events or know their parents are concerned for them to express their anxiety in a variety of ways. They may have sleep disturbances, increased separation anxiety, increased aggression or disorganization, or specific fears like going into tall buildings.
Initially, we experience similar feelings of basic fear and dislocation or our sense of the normal. Most people want to hunker down with their families at first. Next, it is best to help your child get back into the normal routines of life. The normal routines themselves will be reassuring. If parents treat the child’s difficulties in a straightforward, reassuring, accepting manner, the difficulties should pass in a short amount of time.
Finally, remember that you as an adult are also under stress. Do all the things that you know help under stress, and gradually move yourself back into the normal flow as well. Spend extra calm, comforting time with your child. It will help both of you!
Educators for Social Responsibility (ESR) has developed a free guide called, "Talking to Children about Violence and other Sensitive and Complex Issues in the World." This guide, available at www.esrnational.org/guide.html, provides answers to parents' and teachers' most frequently asked questions about how to discuss violent national and world events with children.
"Growing up has never been easy," says Linda Lantieri, a nationally recognized leader in the field of social and emotional learning, founding director of the Resolving Conflict Creatively Program (RCCP), and co-author of the guide. "It's especially difficult for young people in times of crisis. We owe it to our children to listen to what is on their minds, and in their hearts, and give them the best of our understanding and our guidance."
According to ESR executive director, Larry Dieringer, "many children will be scared for their own and their loved ones' safety after hearing about and watching the tragedy on television. Some will have violent retaliation fantasies. There is a danger that some students will stereotype Arabs and other ethnic groups, and harass students perceived to be from the Middle East. Still others will ask why some people in other parts of the world are so angry at the United States." The guide helps adults think about the impact of tragedies like this one on young people, understand how childrens needs differ at various ages, and choose appropriate responses.
Educators for Social Responsibility is a national organization dedicated to the healthy social, emotional and ethical development of young people. Its mission is to make teaching social responsibility a core practice in education so that young people develop the convictions and skills to shape a safe, sustainable, democratic and just world.
In addition to the free guide, ESR has posted classroom lessons designed to help teachers talk with students about their concerns, and explore issues of conflict, peace and security from personal and global perspectives.
For further information, contact ESR executive director, Larry Dieringer at 617-492-1764, ext. 18, or at ldieringer@esrnational.org.